Harvey Korman might laugh

It was at noon today when I realized that the pain in my nose had some sort of unconsciously suppressed memory that was only now coming into cognition. It was like a vague sense of de ja vu without the usual little people and peanut butter and yet the pieces were starting to come together to form an actual back story to the ache in my proboscis. Its 3am. I wake up. Waking up at 3am often has that emerging from a 3 week bender sort of feel to it where one barely know their own name and I certainly don’t know where I am or which way is up. There are bad ways to wake up. On a front lawn is one, or with a gf’s elbow in your eye perhaps. With your head wedged between the box spring and your side table is quite another. I found myself completely unable to manipulate my right arm – which I will tentatively say is worse than the others but I don’t want to provoke the sleep gods into throwing caution completely to the wind and coming up with something completely entertaining…

It was hanging there useless like shoe in a tree or the U.N. I tried to move it… nothing. I poked it with the other arm – I couldn’t feel it. Finally I’d puzzled over this appendage development for long enough that some feeling came back. My elbow had come online at last. So I used it – and what happened next, as I was suddenly finding my self recalling at noon… was unfortunate. Feeling had come back but coordination had not so when I utilized this elbow… my entire forearm and hand flopped in my direction and whacked me in the face. I vaguely recall marveling at this occurrence, noted it hurt, checked for blood and passed out again. It would be 9 hours later until I connected my mild pain to the events earlier.

So now as I go again to bed… I am going to try hard to not punch myself in the face in a limp, uncontrollable “epic flail” at 3am. Which seems a ridiculously easy bar for success but recent history suggests that I should embrace the little victories whenever I can!

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