Chatty Chatty Bang Bang

cellphone I have long had the dream that if I won the lottery, one of the many shenanigans I would pull would be to buy a cell phone blocker. I’d love to deploy that thing at work when some lazy coworkers decide that texting is more important than working. I am not sure of the legality of this in Canada, but I presume it is likely frowned upon as it is in the USA.

I loved the ending to the following article outlining the consequences of having a cell phone jammer, and some proposed consequences for being a cell phone jerk.

My favourite part:

“Ironically, in both Texas and Florida it is legal to openly carry firearms into a Starbucks, say. But not a phone jammer. So when the cell phone at the next table erupts into The William Tell Overture and its owner bellows, “HELLO? HEY! YEAH, IN A STARBUCKS! IT’S RAINING HERE! SO WHERE’RE YOU?” pulling out the jammer is not an option. It’s the firearm or nothing. This may not be good public policy.”

Then again, maybe it IS good public policy?

Elbow to the head

In July I took my first trip to Mt. Rainier National Park in Washington State. At a viewpoint for Christine Falls I encountered some fairly rude line conduct. At Christine Falls there is a small parking area from which you walk down about 20 feet to a viewpoint of the falls (pictured). Mt. Rainier National Park is one busy place, especially during good weather on a weekend – so it was sort of crowded. There was a line of about 15 people to get to the viewing spot. Nobody seemed to take too long, they took a few pictures, posed in front of the falls, and moved on up the trail to their cars. When it came to be my turn, I was elbowed in the side of the head by a portly (read: orca fat) woman who had skirted the lineup and decided that waiting was for the other people. My response was a rather surprised/angry “EXCUSE ME?”. I didn’t have to do anything else really – the other 15 people in line quickly jumped to my defense and there was much yelling and complaining and shouts of “get to the back of the line” etc. I stood my ground and she realized that she was not only failing to get to the vantage point where I stood but the crowd was rapidly calling for her physical removal. Some seemed ready to do that themselves. Relative sanity prevailed and she fled to the back of the line. I do mean fled – she almost ran. I took my pictures and went back to the car.

Back at the car I reflected on this. So I waited for elbow woman to see where she was from. She got into a car that had Alberta plates. Bah – elbowed by a fellow Canadian in a foreign country! At least she wasn’t from BC.

Don't have a job? Sue your school!

Woman is suing her University because she can’t find a job:

I read this with some pleasure. Hopefully they kick her out of court and hell, lets throw in some punishment for lacking personal responsibility.

My favourite part:

As Thompson sees it, any reasonable employer would pounce on an applicant with her academic credentials, which include a 2.7 grade-point average and a solid attendance record. But Monroe’s career-services department has put forth insufficient effort to help her secure employment, she claims.

Well done! The worst economy in a while, you worked your ass off for a 2.7 GPA (lol) and… its your school’s fault you dont’ have a job?


Happy Canada Day!


Conundrum solved

penguinslogo In my previous post I outlined why I root for the team that beat my team. This year I had a hockey conundrum in that there might be a scenario in the Stanley Cup Finals that this team, the Chicago Blackhawks, might go up against my alternate favourite team, the Pittsburgh Penguins. I also cheer for the Steelers, somewhat arbitrarily at this point I guess, maybe there is something about Pittsburgh, I don’t know. At any rate, the Blackhawks quickly were decimated by the evil Detroit Redwings and that part of this was over.

So it all came down to Pittsburgh or yet again I’d have another NHL playoffs with nothing to show for it but disappointment. Then Pittsburgh decided to lose the first two games of the best of 7. 0-2 in a series does not look good.

From there on though, it was all good. A very nice game 7 win by the Penguins over the dastardly Wings and I am able to say that at least one of the teams I root for did very well this year. If only it had been the Canucks. 🙁 At least they can probably beat the Penguins on the golf course at this point.

A Hockey Conundrum

canuckslogo My Canucks are out of the playoffs. Again. Actually, a minor miracle that they even made it this year, with expectations at the beginning being rather lackluster. However, they had a great year, and made it the 2nd round of the playoffs. Won their division. Had their first 4 game sweep in a best of 7 series. Now they are golfing. Sad.

So what now? I often root for the Pittsburgh Penguins. I don’t know why, but this is only after there are few teams left, then I will go for the flightless birds. Always liked Lemieux, and now we have Crosby. However, this might potentially lead me to my hockey conundrum of this years’ playoffs. I generally want to see the team that beat my team, in this case the Chicago Blackhawks, do well. Why? Why would I not seek revenge for the playoff death of my most favored team? Well, which would you rather have… the team that beat your team embarrassed and sacked from the next round, or have them win the whole thing? Who would you rather have had beat your team? A team that tanks soon after or the team that proves they really were quite good and wins the whole thing? Thus, I find myself wishing the Blackhawks well. For now.

What we do have now is the potential for the Blackhawks and the Penguins to meet in the Stanley Cup final. There is the conundrum. Root for the Penguins or the team that beat my team. I have yet to determine which is stronger. Regardless, if that scenario does appear, I can happily dance on the graves of the ill deserving Carolina Hurricanes (its not called an end zone Carolina fans!). Detroit, always strong, well, time to let someone else have it eh?

No, not the brand of flour

I saw a license plate the other day in North Vancouver that read: URPOOR
It was on a Maserati.

In the dirt next to the plate someone had written: Robin Hood knows where you live.

I liked that.

Dear CNN

Dear CNN,

I recently vistited your news site and found an article about the City of Vancouver. I read this article. I read it again. I was left wondering… why so many innacuracies? If you see fit to print articles with this many innacuracies about things I know, how can I trust the information in the articles I actually intend to learn from? It seems clear to me that the articles author, Dean Irvine, either never has visited Vancouver and did a “google tour”, or he is inept. I’ll give Mr. Irvine the benefit of the doubt, perhaps it seemed easier to simply google the information, ask friends, or perhaps chat about Vancouver at the office. Perhaps he really had no way of knowing that in fact Bowen Island is anything but a 15 minute “ferry” ride from Granville Island. The tiny tourist ferry he was on simply crosses False Creek to downtown Vancouver. Let me also point out that Commercial Drive is on the EAST side of Vancouver, not the west. I understand polar opposites can be confusing. It is Kitsilano, not Kitsalano… and Jerico Beach not Jericoh. Need I continue?

I would provide more google (or is that wikipedia?) links to back this up, but I don’t want to do Mr. Irvine’s work for him.

Michael Russell



Driving in traffic today. Come near a light, as usual it sees me approach and turns yellow. If I were to go through this I’d probably be running a red, so I stopped. Guy behind me goes ballistic. Honks, yells, pulls up beside me. I hear the word “grandpa” and multiple f-bombs. I rolled down the passenger window – he starts yelling at me and asks why I wouldn’t go through the light – people actually want to get somewhere and if they are behind you blah blah blah…. I said “I’m a Saggitarius”. What I enjoyed about all this was he had to stop and think whether this was a response that made sense to him. He looked puzzled and didn’t say anything else. The light turned green. I left. He ran the next red.

Joke is completely on him. Im not a saggitarius, whatever that would actually mean.

Canadian Coin ESPIONAGE!!!

Im a bit late to the spy party… but WOW. Just wow.,2933,270413,00.html