Archive for the ‘Rant’ Category

Elbow to the head

In July I took my first trip to Mt. Rainier National Park in Washington State. At a viewpoint for Christine Falls I encountered some fairly rude line conduct. At Christine Falls there is a small parking area from which you walk down about 20 feet to a viewpoint of the falls (pictured). Mt. Rainier National Park is one busy place, especially during good weather on a weekend – so it was sort of crowded. There was a line of about 15 people to get to the viewing spot. Nobody seemed to take too long, they took a few pictures, posed in front of the falls, and moved on up the trail to their cars. When it came to be my turn, I was elbowed in the side of the head by a portly (read: orca fat) woman who had skirted the lineup and decided that waiting was for the other people. My response was a rather surprised/angry “EXCUSE ME?”. I didn’t have to do anything else really – the other 15 people in line quickly jumped to my defense and there was much yelling and complaining and shouts of “get to the back of the line” etc. I stood my ground and she realized that she was not only failing to get to the vantage point where I stood but the crowd was rapidly calling for her physical removal. Some seemed ready to do that themselves. Relative sanity prevailed and she fled to the back of the line. I do mean fled – she almost ran. I took my pictures and went back to the car.

Back at the car I reflected on this. So I waited for elbow woman to see where she was from. She got into a car that had Alberta plates. Bah – elbowed by a fellow Canadian in a foreign country! At least she wasn’t from BC.

Don't have a job? Sue your school!

Woman is suing her University because she can’t find a job:

I read this with some pleasure. Hopefully they kick her out of court and hell, lets throw in some punishment for lacking personal responsibility.

My favourite part:

As Thompson sees it, any reasonable employer would pounce on an applicant with her academic credentials, which include a 2.7 grade-point average and a solid attendance record. But Monroe’s career-services department has put forth insufficient effort to help her secure employment, she claims.

Well done! The worst economy in a while, you worked your ass off for a 2.7 GPA (lol) and… its your school’s fault you dont’ have a job?


Dear CNN

Dear CNN,

I recently vistited your news site and found an article about the City of Vancouver. I read this article. I read it again. I was left wondering… why so many innacuracies? If you see fit to print articles with this many innacuracies about things I know, how can I trust the information in the articles I actually intend to learn from? It seems clear to me that the articles author, Dean Irvine, either never has visited Vancouver and did a “google tour”, or he is inept. I’ll give Mr. Irvine the benefit of the doubt, perhaps it seemed easier to simply google the information, ask friends, or perhaps chat about Vancouver at the office. Perhaps he really had no way of knowing that in fact Bowen Island is anything but a 15 minute “ferry” ride from Granville Island. The tiny tourist ferry he was on simply crosses False Creek to downtown Vancouver. Let me also point out that Commercial Drive is on the EAST side of Vancouver, not the west. I understand polar opposites can be confusing. It is Kitsilano, not Kitsalano… and Jerico Beach not Jericoh. Need I continue?

I would provide more google (or is that wikipedia?) links to back this up, but I don’t want to do Mr. Irvine’s work for him.

Michael Russell



Driving in traffic today. Come near a light, as usual it sees me approach and turns yellow. If I were to go through this I’d probably be running a red, so I stopped. Guy behind me goes ballistic. Honks, yells, pulls up beside me. I hear the word “grandpa” and multiple f-bombs. I rolled down the passenger window – he starts yelling at me and asks why I wouldn’t go through the light – people actually want to get somewhere and if they are behind you blah blah blah…. I said “I’m a Saggitarius”. What I enjoyed about all this was he had to stop and think whether this was a response that made sense to him. He looked puzzled and didn’t say anything else. The light turned green. I left. He ran the next red.

Joke is completely on him. Im not a saggitarius, whatever that would actually mean.

A Hallmark of violence

Man, mid 40’s. Jeans and a sweatshirt. Vancouver Canucks “ball” cap on his head. I am standing next to him. We are all virtually shoulder to shoulder… surveying the various Mother’s Day cards available. There is a bad selection. Mid 40’s man pushes me out of the way to get to a card that he is interested in. I let it go. Then when I reached near him to look at one myself he does the same thing. A good shove to the shoulder with his hand. I look at another potential card purchaser and he sort of shrugged, he didn’t understand either I guess. So Mid 40’s man does this to me again… and I said:

“Dude… you do not get to shove me again”

He left.

I don’t know if this was a victory or not.

Perhaps I should be more concerned that I called him “dude”. 🙁

4 Things I'm Glad I Do Not Understand

1. Someone needs to get through the Deas Island Tunnel on Hwy 99 (Richmond to Ladner). This is a narrow divided 2 lane (each way) tunnel with virtually no shoulders. Some guy decides that the way he is going to get between those two cities on his BICYCLE is to go though the tunnel. Wow. He even went the extra mile and went on the side with oncoming traffic.

2. Guy shows up for work in Langley at a construction site. He discovers something he determines is a BOMB. Having determined that this is, in his opinion, a BOMB… he PICKS IT UP. He then puts in into his trunk and drives it to the POLICE STATION. Upon entering the station he declares that he found a bomb at work and has brought it to the station. I hope he didn’t start the conversation with “I have a bomb in my car parked outside”. The station is evacuated, the bomb squad called in. The experts determine that this is, in face, a POTATO GUN. Odd, I always thought potatoes rather easy to kill with simply a knife. They hardly ever even squirm.

3. I am driving through the Cassiar Tunnel (Vancouver to North Vancouver). This is a wide tunnel, with wide shoulders. I was still somewhat startled to see some woman approaching in my direction with a baby stroller inside the tunnel. She was on the shoulder but CMON! Getting close I see her with the twitches and gait of the addicts downtown… which makes this even more sad. When I get right up to her position she is merrily moseying along with a baby stroller that has FOUR watermelons in it. Just watermelons.

4. I’m at Subway this evening. This is the 2nd time I’ve been to this Subway. Im lined up for my usual sandwich with extra pickles. This particular Subway employs people all all creeds, colors and backgrounds. A good thing. This particular Subway always has people who speak little to no English, which is NOT always a good thing. I have to always get my finger pointing skill to the ready in here or I’ll get onions instead of pickles (NOT a good thing) as those words are evidently foreign. Tonight the guy ahead of me had obviously lost patience and left half way through the construction of his sandwich stating politely: “I can’t do this anymore… I’ve been patient, I’ve been polite…. You are not capable of making me a the right sandwich. Sorry. I’m sorry.” Now… while I do not understand hiring persons who cannot communicate with the vast majority of the clientèle… I understand even less the complete hostility towards these employees that I’ve encountered both on this occasion and in the past. While I did get frustrated all the time here, being unable to effectively communicate the phrases: “not toasted, no cheese, PICKLES not onions, no TWO sandwiches, no NOT toasted, no, yes, no I do not want a drink, no drink please, no thanks, just the sandwiches, yes I know the drink is in the cooler there but I do not want a drink, its a VISA card, no not debit, I can’t put a PIN number in – its a V-I-S-A card. I still managed to get the sandwiches I desired. I don’t understand being super hostile, swearing, and yelling loudly in this situation.

That is all.

Oh my aching lingual frenulum!

New today on the list of things that suck.  I was blissfully eating popcorn.  A sharp piece of kernel gets lodged under my tongue.  This hurts.  I attempt to fish it out.   Then the taste of blood.  This will not taint my enjoyment of popcorn in the future.

An unfortunate point…

You know those little skewers people put in their roast chickens etc to pin things together?  If you do the dishes, don’t just chuck them into the bottom of the sink filled with soap and water.  When you plunge your hand into the water to pull the plug you could easily emerge with one stuck under your fingernail.  I did not enjoy doing the dishes tonight.  No sir, not at all.

The Crack of Dawn

Lets think strategy here. You are standing on the left turn median. You have your pity sign up – “University student needs money for bus fare back home before beginning of semester”.  You are getting change from strangers. Perhaps, just perhaps you shouldn’t be lighting up your crack pipe at the same time? As an “University student” you know this doesn’t lend credibility to your argument right?

Driving me insane…

If you go straight into an intersection by mistake on a left turn signal…. DON’T continue into the intersection more than a little…. DON’T give me the finger and freak out that I want to turn left (I have the turn signal moron)… DON’T stop to yell at me. If you HAVE to do all this you must under NO circumstances freak out when you realize that you are running a red light, and under NO circumstances begin TO BACK UP when you are almost clear of the intersection – thereby blocking me a second time and almost backing into me. I swear, I wish I had the power to revoke drivers licenses. I’d have a nice collection just from today. I could put them on my fridge or something… or give my shredder a workout. Gah!